“It is a truth universally acknowledged that dating in the 21st century is a mess.”

This year marks 250 years since the birth of Jane Austen, one of the most beloved and insightful authors of all time. Best known for Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and Emma, Austen wasn’t just a writer of romance – she was a keen observer of human nature, relationships, and the social structures that shape them.

But how would she react if she stepped into today’s world of dating apps, ghosting, and endless “situationships”? Would she be scandalised by the lack of courtship, or would she appreciate the independence modern women now have in love and marriage?

One thing is certain: her wit would be sharper than ever.

In this post, we’ll compare Austen-era romance to modern dating, exploring what’s changed, what’s stayed the same, and which of her characters might struggle (or thrive) in the age of swiping right.

Would Mr. Darcy make a good first impression on Hinge?

Would Elizabeth Bennet reject a date via text?

Would Wickham have become a social media influencer?

Let’s find out!

Courtship Then vs. Now: The Rules of Romance

In Jane Austen’s time, love was full of rules, reputations, and rigid expectations. Courtship required formal introductions, chaperoned visits, and careful letter-writing – no impulsive late-night texts or casual meetups! For women, marriage wasn’t just about love; it was often a financial and social necessity. A bad match could mean lifelong hardship, and a scandal – like Lydia Bennet’s elopement – could ruin an entire family’s prospects.

Today, dating comes with fewer social restrictions but more uncertainty. With dating apps, social media, and endless choices, finding love should be easier – yet it often feels just as complicated. Reputation still matters, but instead of whispered gossip, it’s viral TikTok rants and Instagram exposés. And while Austen’s heroines endured agonising waits for handwritten letters, modern daters face ghosting, left-on-read messages, and the confusion of situationships. Though much has changed in 250 years, one thing remains the same: love is rarely simple.

Mr. Darcy vs. The Dating App Bio: First Impressions Still Matter

Jane Austen knew that first impressions could be misleading… just ask Elizabeth Bennet. When she first meets Mr. Darcy, he seems cold, arrogant, and uninterested, but beneath that stiff exterior is a man of loyalty, depth, and quiet devotion. If he were on a dating app today, would she swipe left before ever discovering the truth?

Modern dating thrives on snap judgments, where bios and profile pictures replace reputation and real-life interactions. Imagine Darcy’s profile. At first glance? Unapproachable. Standoffish. Probably left on read. But as Elizabeth learns, first impressions can be wildly misleading – Darcy proves himself generous, kind, and deeply loyal once given the chance.

Meanwhile, Mr. Wickham, the ultimate charmer, would probably thrive on dating apps.

 
Whether at a Regency ball or on a dating app, it’s easy to judge too quickly. Darcy seemed proud and unapproachable, but he was actually honourable and selfless. Wickham seemed charming and trustworthy, but he was a liar and a scoundrel.

Austen’s message? The best relationships are built on time, trust, and understanding, not just appearances.

Ghosting, Social Media, and Scandal: Would Austen’s Heroines Survive Modern Dating?

In Austen’s time, love was complicated. One wrong move could ruin your reputation, your future, and your entire family’s standing. Today, dating still has its pitfalls, but instead of elopements and public disgrace, we deal with ghosting, viral call-outs, and the endless anxiety of social media.

So, how would Austen’s characters handle modern dating’s biggest challenges?

Ghosting: Mr. Willoughby Would 100% Leave You on Read

In Sense and Sensibility, John Willoughby leads Marianne Dashwood to believe he loves her, only to vanish without explanation – the original ghoster. She waits for letters that never come, only to learn he’s engaged to someone else for her fortune.

The modern equivalent? The date who texts “good morning” every day, makes grand promises, and then disappears the moment things get serious.

What Austen would say: “To be left on read is dreadful; but to be misled is infinitely worse.”

Social Media & Reputation: Would Wickham Be Cancelled?

In Pride and Prejudice, George Wickham charms almost everyone he meets, painting himself as Darcy’s unfortunate victim while secretly gambling, seducing, and running from his debts. Eventually, the truth comes out… but what if social media had existed?

The modern equivalent? Someone who fabricates their life online, presents the perfect image, but behind the scenes, they’re full of red flags. Today, Wickham would be exposed via screenshots, TikTok story times, and viral Twitter threads.

What Austen would say: “A single post may expose what years of deceit have concealed.”

The “Talking Stage” & Endless Uncertainty: Would Captain Wentworth Ever Make His Intentions Clear?

In Persuasion, Anne Elliot and Captain Wentworth spend years agonising over unspoken feelings, regrets, and miscommunication. If they had texting, would they have stayed stuck in the “talking stage” forever?

The modern equivalent? That situationship where no one defines the relationship, emotions are high, and every message is overanalysed.

What Austen would say: “Nothing is so deceitful as an almost-relationship.”

Austen’s Timeless Take on Love

Jane Austen might not recognise dating apps, texting games, or viral relationship drama, but she’d understand the emotional rollercoaster of modern romance. The settings have changed – no more ballroom dances or formal introductions – but the core struggles remain the same: misunderstandings, bad first impressions, social expectations, and the search for something real.

Austen’s novels remind us that love isn’t just about appearances or fleeting attraction, it’s about character, respect, and the willingness to grow together. Whether in Regency ballrooms or dating app DMs, finding the right person still requires courage, patience, and maybe a little bit of luck.

So, what would Austen say about modern dating? Likely this:

“There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.”

Because while the world has changed, the essence of love remains the same.